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Table of Contents
 Foreword, iii
 Introduction, iv
 Chapter One Kids and Their Creator, 9
 Chapter Two Kids' Word Mix-ups, 19
 Chapter Three Purple Roses and Green Hearts, 29
 Chapter Four Kids and the Birds and the Bees, 31
 Chapter Five A Class Act, 35
 Chapter Six Money Matters, 41
 Chapter Seven Kids and Weather, 45
 Chapter Eight Kids and Food, 49
 Chapter Nine Winter Days Blurrr Together, 55
 Chapter 10 Missed Manners, 57
 Chapter 11 Bathroom Humor, 61
 The Watercolor Gallery, 65
 The Miracle of Organ/Tissue Donation, 67
 Chapter 12 Notes on Music, 109
 Chapter 13 Kids and Grownups, 111
 Chapter 14 Kids and Health, 119
 Chapter 15 How Does Your Garden Grow? 125
 Chapter 16 Kids and Animals, 127
 Chapter 17 Turning Boys into Men, 131
 Chapter 18 Kids and Sports, 133
 Chapter 19 The Most Important Goal, 137
 Chapter 20 Kids and Christmas, 139
 Chapter 21 Learning the Truth About Santa, 143
 Chapter 22 Bedtime Blues, 145
 Chapter 23 A Tear and a Smile, 149
 Our Family Stories, 151

Chapter Five: A Class Act

From preschool to college, my children have been blessed with outstanding teachers. People who have not visited or worked in the classroom have no idea of the dedication and stamina teaching requires.

Getting an education is a hard job - but there are plenty of humorous moments, as these stories show!

It was a hot day at the beginning of the school year, and the first-graders had just trooped in from afternoon recess. They were lining up against the wall in the hall, taking turns at the drinking fountain.

A first-grade teacher overheard one of her students say to a friend: "What I want to know is, who signed me up for all day?!"
Jason's grandmother was driving him to first grade. As they approached the school, she noticed the flag was at half staff.

"I wonder why the flag is like that," she said.

" Maybe it's because we have half a day of school," Jason quickly replied.
On a fall day Quintin saw some geese and pointed out that they weren't quite flying in the proper V formation.

Rebecca, who had been working with her letter people in kindergarten, said matter-of-factly, "Maybe they haven't had that letter person in school yet!"
Daniel, 8, was writing a book report about "The Funny Things Kids Say (Vol. 2)."

"Did you really read it?" Ruth asked.

"I shouldn't have to," Daniel said, "because I starred in it." (He had one line in the book!)
During a class Valentine's party, a little boy said, "Where's Bob? Why isn't he here?"

Phyllis finally figured out that the boy meant the former principal.

The little boy shook his head and told Phyllis, "I just can't believe he's missing the best day of his life!"
"Let's begin reading," Phyllis said to the second-grader she was helping. "Will you turn to the story?"

"What channel?" the boy asked.
Jeff, 5, did something bad at school, and his teacher gave him a note to take home to his mother, Vi.

As Jeff handed Vi the note, he asked, "Is loving your mother more important than getting a note home from your teacher?"
Dana went in to wake up Samantha, 6, for school. In her sweet morning voice Samantha said, "Mom, you're so lucky you don't have to get up!"
When there was a school delay because of ice, Seija, who was at work, received a call from her daughter, Ashley, 8, who was being cared for by Kathrin.

"Can I have a friend over?" Ashley asked.

"Why are you still at home?" Seija asked with surprise.

"There's a school delay," Ashley said.

"I know there's a delay," Seija said. "But why are you still home?"

"There's a delay all day!" Ashley said.
"They goofed!" Kari, a kindergartener, said when she saw her school pictures. "They made a mistake! I know I smiled. I smiled really good, and they goofed!"

She was not smiling in her school picture.
Paul, 8, has no conception of the things his mother does all day. On the first day of school, his mother said, "'Bye, have a nice day!"

He said, "'Bye, Mom, have a nice nap!"
Chuck, 6, was asked what the best part of first grade was.

"Recess!" he exclaimed.

"And the worst part?"

"Missing recess!" his cousin Paul, 8, chimed in.
Laura, 6, told her grandparents that during Drug Awareness Week she had told her teacher that her grandpa didn't use drugs any more. He had stopped using drugs July 4. (That was the day he stopped smoking!)
Breanna's essay about why she should be the editor of the school newspaper went this way: "I enjoy writting. I think that I would be a great editor because I get A's in writting and spelling."
A second-grade boy came up to Sally in the school cafeteria. "Mrs. Stolz," he said, "I dreamed about you last night."
"You did?" Sally said with surprise. "What was the dream about?"

"I can't tell you," he said.

"You can't?" Sally said. "Was I yelling at you?"

"No," he said in a whisper. "You didn't have any clothes on!"
Some fifth-grade girls created a class newspaper. This is what Rule No. 4 said: "Your final artical must be readible but not prof-read."

One of their sections was called "Good & Bad News." Most of the articles were rewrites from the town's newspaper. But sometimes they had trouble classifying their stories.

"Do you think this story is good news or bad news?" Kim asked. "The lady wrecked her car and went off the road. But she wasn't hurt."
A second grader was asked to read aloud the word k-n-e-w.
"Canoe," he said.